i just wanna soil my oats bro
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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