I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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