she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
