I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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