I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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