whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
