is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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