i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
