i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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