thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
