Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I believe in your delicious
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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