HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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