tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
