what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
