do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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