Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
