It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
