Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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