were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize