This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do vagina's smell?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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