A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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