His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
