Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
