Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
two words...techno handjob
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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