this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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