so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
