Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
