I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
