I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize