wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
