i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
