its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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