ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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