I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
