how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
