I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
