I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
vagina is talking i cant
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
