what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
