Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
