I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
