Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I came so hard my ears popped.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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