you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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