Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
