It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
