I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
