Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
