I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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