you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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