It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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