5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
