I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize