I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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