oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's blow job season.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
