3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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