Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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