Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
